What seems to matter anyways? I’ve moved on… You’ve moved on… And you seem to be doing better than ever. Congrats on finding your happiness.
I know I fucked up… Big time. You once told me that there were many things I could do to you that you would be able to tolerate, except for the one thing that I did. And knowing what she once put you through, for you to experience the same thing again would be unforgivable.
On Friday night, you asked me whether you were good enough for me… Because if I thought you were, why would I even resort to doing such things? But the truth is— you are. You’re more than enough for me. The simple fact that I would do something like that shows you have a far more regal character than I ever could have and that I don’t deserve to be with someone like you.
I could come up a million excuses for what I did and made you feel, but the only person I can blame is myself. Most people I know see me as someone who is completely reckless and irresponsible, someone who pretty much likes to have fun and doesn’t care about the consequences of her actions. And it’s true— compared to you, I AM young and inexperienced. I haven’t had much experience dating… and I pretty much just started going out and partying. I’m still learning to love you and to maintain this lifestyle that came with no constraints or prior guidelines.
I know this isn’t the first time I’ve done something like this in my past. But as cheesy as it sounds, with you it’s different because you mean so much more to me. And after what we’ve been through in the past two weeks, I genuinely wanted to change. I was ready to give up the partying, the drugs and everything else to become person you wanted me to be.
I know that you might not have felt much since Friday night, and reading this note is only infuriating you because it’s making you feel something. But I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry— for all the times I made you feel as if you weren’t enough for me. For making you feel as if I didn’t want to be with you, when all I’ve been waiting for in the past 8 years is you (soulja boy tell ‘em). I don’t know where things will be headed for the two of us, but I just wanted to ask for your forgiveness… and I hope that you’ll want to talk things through with me later on.